Matchday 2(Part 1)

Matchday 2(I won't even get into the fact that both Tuesday AND Wednesday are Matchday 2) went according to plan, mostly. Man U defeated Aalborg 3-0, behind Rooney's opener and a brace from Berbatov. Rooney did pickup a knock(injury), and Paul Scholes had to be subbed out in the 16th minute for ligament damage and seems to be out for a while. Over at El Madrigal(Spanish for The Madrigal), Villareal defeated Celtic 1-0. Celtic will feel hard done by(upset) not to get a point, and were able to stop every part of Villareal's game except a Marcos Senna free kick. He and Santi Cazorla dominated the game for Villareal, and now Celtic will to take some points of Man U if they are to make it past the group stages.

In Group F, Bayern Munich tied Lyon 1-1. This moves Bayern to the top of the group, and is probably some comfort for their poor domestic form. Ribery is close to a return, which should see them make a great leap in form. Fiorentina tied Steaua Bucuresti 0-0 to move into a tie with Lyon in second. Lyon has been a juggernaut in France, but they have yet to make any noise in Europe. They are not off to a good start in this campaign, and if they don't step up they might not even make it out of the knockout stages. The strike partnership of Mutu and Gilardino is working well for Fiorentina, and could see them progress.

Arsenal's 4-0 defeat of FC Porto sees them move to the top of Group G. Adebayor and Van Persie each grabbed a brace, and Walcott missed a couple of sitters(easy ones) that could have gotten them a touchdown(self explanatory). Arsenal does much better in Europe against teams that play a quick, fluid, passing game because they can play that style even better. Fenerbahce tied Dynamo Kiev 0-0 as Luis Aragones' team falls to bottom of the group. Fenerbahce have to play Arsenal twice in a row, and they will need a win from one of those games if they have a hope of progressing. Kiev have proved tough to break down, and if they can stay strong at the back they should find opportunities to score against Porto.

The group of death lived up to the hype. Real Madrid defeated Zenit St. Petersburg 2-1 to move to the top of Group H with 6 points. Things were not so easy in Bulgaria as BATE Borisov tied Juventus 2-2. Things could have gone worse for the visitors, who were down 2-0 until Iaquinta answered with his own first half brace. Juventus is missing Trezeguet, and while Del Piero has performed admirably, the question is how will the 33 year old deal with a full season.

Weekend Review

Fernando Torres hit a brace in the big game of the weekend as the red half of Liverpool prevailed to push them into a tie at the top with Chelsea. Arsenal were upset, as was Manchester City.

Liverpool 2 - Everton 0: Fernando Torres' class was the difference in this match as Cahill continued the red card history of the fixture. Everton looks incredibly sloppy, and they seem more likely to walk on the moon than keep a clean sheet right now. Liverpool may not be playing pretty, but their ability to pull out points from ugly games means that they may finally put in a challenge for the Prem.

West Ham 2 - Fulham 1: Fulham gave up two goals right before the half and when Andy Johnson was sent off it meant that they would have a tough task in the second half. Fulham did get a penalty to give themselves some hope, but Hodgson's choice not to use any subs has to be questioned.

Man U 2 - Bolton 0: United got their clean sheet, and with a little help from the ref Cristiano Ronaldo got his first goal of the season. Wayne Rooney also scored to put a smile on Fergie's face.

WBA 1 - Middlesbro 0: A tight match at the Riverside with lots of chances, but Olsson was the only one able to finish one. The two keepers looked fantastic and were constantly at work, and Morrison almost scored against his former team.

Blackburn 2 - Newcastle 1: Things are not going well for Newcastle. Samba and Santa Cruz scored for Rovers, and the only way Newcastle could find the back of the net was through a penalty. If it was not for Tottenham, they would be the laughing stock of the league.

Chelsea 2 - Stoke 0: Stoke had a good game plan, but after Bosingwa's goal with an assist from a Stoke player it was all downhill for them. Chelsea should have converted some more chances, but their ability to dominate the middle of the pitch as well as the wings is impressive.

Aston Villa 2 - Sunderland 1: Cisse did grab the opener, but Young and Carew grabbed the points for Villa. O'Neill will want his back line to tighten up and grab some clean sheets, but as long as his team can keep finding the net that won't matter.

Hull 2 - Arsenal 1: If the goal was a few feet wider than Arsenal would have won by a ton, but it's not and Arsenal suffered their second ever loss at Emirates. Geovanni's goal was pure class, and Cousin's a few minutes later was an incredible header. Fabregas is looking better, but Arsenal need more players to take chances and stop passing.

Portsmouth 2 - Tottenham 0: Not a good weekend in North London. Tottenham are in trouble, and are seriously lacking in chemistry right now. Big and Little scored the goals for Portsmouth, but Diarra's second yellow was one drawback for Pompey. Ramos needs to figure out something fast, or he may not be there to fight a relegation battle.

Wigan 2 - Man City 1: With all three goals in the first half, it was really a shame that anybody had to watch the second half. Valencia hit a wonder strike, which was canceled out by Kompany's touch from a corner, but Zaki's penalty put the game away. Wigan did well to slow down the Man City attack, and while City had the ball they couldn't figure out what to do with it.

One Liners

• Fergie supports referee Styles, will support all ref who gives Man U bogus penalties
• Wenger thinks his players can do better, once they hit puberty
• South African suitors enter battle for Newcastle, how much will they be worth as a Championship side
• Mourinho loses derby to Milan, closes his eyes and says if he can't see the score it doesn't count
• Moyes admits FA charge, Everton to appeal Cahill red card

Weekend Preview

The battle for Liverpool reconvenes this weekend when Liverpool take on Everton at Goodison Park. In terms of derby matches, the battle of the scousers is one of the most hard fought. It has produced 16 red cards in the Premiership era, the most of any matchup. The teams are separated by seven places, but only three points and the match should not disappoint. To the predictions.

Saturday
Liverpool at Everton: Steven Gerrard has 99 goals for Liverpool, and I would put a few quid(bucks) that he'll get his 100th this weekend(if gambling were legal). Everton has been leaking goals at the back, and there is no reason to believe this will change against Liverpool.
Liverpool 3-2

West Ham at Fulham: Another derby, but of a lower profile. Both teams have been inconsistent and Ashton's injury hinders the Hammers. Bullard and Fulham need to control the midfield to stop the West Ham counter attack, and there could be some goals.
Fulham 3-2

Bolton at Man U: This game should be over in the first few minutes. With Ronaldo getting better with each game, Man U should be able to run around the hard tackles of Bolton. Elmander could return for the Wanderers, which would help their direct game, but without a clean sheet they won't get any points.
Man U 3-0

WBA at Middlesbrough: Middlesbrough do well at home, and with both Mido and Alves fit they should be ready for this game. James Morrison, a product of the Boro academy, will make his return to Riverside and try to get some personal vengeance.
Middlesbrough 2-1

Blackburn at Newcastle: If there was any side Newcastle needed to see at home it was Blackburn. Paul Robinson is injured for Rovers, and Obafemi Martins is out for Newcastle, which is a shame because Martins probably would have scored on Robinson. Newcastle have finally got a manager, and they might finally get a victory as well.
Newcastle 2-1

Chelsea at Stoke: Stoke won't be expecting much from this match, but they may be in luck. Joe Cole is injured and Scolari played a number of first team members in the Carling Cup victory over Portsmouth in his desire to bring home some silverware. Stoke might get off easier by Portsmouth, but not by much.
Chelsea 3-1

Sunderland at Aston Villa: It's hard to see this being much of a game, as Martin O'Neill will want to show that his team's exit to QPR was an aberration. Roy Keane's side has impressed at times, but they lack consistency and will find Villa Park a daunting place to play. With Nosworthy injured, their back line will have trouble coping with the Villa atack.
Villa 3-1

Hull at Arsenal: Arsenal could probably run out their youth side and win this game. Look for their rested "veterans" to shine, and as long as they don't spend all their time looking for the perfect goal they could run up some numbers.
Arsenal 4-0

Sunday
Tottenham at Portsmouth: Two teams who were expected to do big things this season, but have failed to meet expectations. Portsmouth have been strong at home in the past, and Tottenham have looked like a bunch of guys who just met each other(many of them have). I could see any number of scenarios playing out here, but Ramos will need at least a point.
Tie 1-1

Man City at Wigan: Man City should have a number of rested players looking to score some goals, but Bruce's side has impressed this season. With Cattermole back from suspension, they'll try to stop the richest team in football(soccer). Expect the fresh legs of Robinho and SWP to run riot.
Man City 3-1

One Liners

• Joe Kinnear named coach of Newcastle, immediately favorite in sack race
• UEFA Cup reformatted and renamed UEFA Europa League, competition still expected to suck
• CAS say they are unlikely to hear West Ham's appeal, Hammers wondering how much they can get for all their injured players
• UEFA shows faith in Poland and Ukraine for 2012 Euro Cup, fans expected to bring their own folding chairs
• Ramos said he could do little to prevent Defoe leaving for Portsmouth, besides actually playing him

Carling Cup

The Carling Cup is probably the most useless trophy in England. There is a reason why teams talk about winning the Treble, and not the Quadruple. It usually only interests teams from the lower divisions or those who haven't won silverware in a long time(Hi Tottenham). The Carling Cup is good for embarrassing top flight teams, and that happened to a few clubs this week.

On Tuesday Fulham were the first Premiership side to be knocked out by a late goal against Championship side Burnley. Much like fish, Fulham do not travel well. West Ham went down to Championship side Watford, as Zola suffered his first loss as manager. His new attacking style may encounter some problems against direct football(soccer), and it will be interesting to see how he adapts. Sunderland only progressed on pk's against Northampton, and Roy Keane was not too impressed by supporters taking the piss out of him(making fun of him).

On Wednesday the upsets continued when the richest team in the history of civilization, otherwise known as Manchester City, were knocked out by Brighton on pk's. Unlike Keane, Hughes apologized to the fans and the players surely suffered a Welsh lashing, even if it was only verbal. QPR upset Aston Villa 1-0 in what must be a major disappointment for the Premiership side. With most of the Big Four using these games to run out their youngsters, Villa probably thought this was their best shot at a trophy. Newcastle's misery continued when they were the first domestic side to lose to Tottenham. And the pendulum continued to swing for Everton, as they were beaten by Blackburn for the second time this season.

Two notable games were Arsenal's 6-0 thumping of Sheffield United, and Chelsea's 4-0 defeat of Portsmouth. Arsene Wenger always uses this competition to give his young players a game, and they did not disappoint. Carlos Vela netted a hat trick, Bendtner a brace and Jack Wilshere became the second youngest player to ever score for Arsenal after Cesc Fabregas(good company). This was also Chelsea's second 4-0 defeat of Portsmouth this season, but this time it was at Fratton Park. Portsmouth's defense is starting to show its age, and they have now lost their last two games 10-0. If things go any worse Harry Redknapp will turn into a basset hound.

One Liners

• Euro Cup extended to 24 teams in 2016, Cyprus cheers
• Fergie tells City it will take more than money to reach the top, ADUG disagrees and plans to prove this by putting stadium on top of pile of money
• Zola says there won't be firesale at West Ham, is banking on a huge increase in Icelandic biscuit sales
• Terry Venables turns down Newcastle job, ball boy now top of their list
• Croatia fined £14,920 for racism, subtle nod to Christopher Columbus

Financial Solvency or Price Gouging?

It has been a difficult decade for QPR fans. In 2001 they saw their club enter administration and relegated to the third tier of English football for the first time in almost forty years. A £10million loan from the Panamanian company ABC brought the club out of administration, and in 2004 QPR won promotion to the newly named Championship. The club then suffered the tragic deaths of Kiyan Prince and Roy Jones, as well as boardroom controversy and a revolving door of managers. In 2007 it was announced that the club was paying £1million a year in interest on the ABC loan, and QPR seemed on the brink of administration. Along came Formula One tycoons Bernie Ecclestone and Flavior Briatore who purchased the club, and then sold Indian billionaire Lakshmi Mittal a stake. Instantly the club was linked with some of the biggest names in football, but unlike their neighbors Chelsea none of the transfers materialized. Instead the club announced last week that it would become the first team in the Championship to charge £50 for a ticket.
The reaction was swift from the supporters. Fans were already upset at price increase over the summer, and now they were being asked to dig deeper into their pockets. The new ticket structure meant that the top ticket at Loftus Road was more expensive than at most Premiership stadiums. With QPR’s match against Derby classified as a Category A fixture, away fans would also have to pay the increase. Derby took the matter to the Football League, and the League ruled that prices for the away fans had to remain at the previously agreed upon level. A victory for the visitors, but it appears QPR fans will have to shoulder the burden themselves.
This brings up the question of who should pay for a club’s ambitions, the owners or the fans? Billionaires like Roman Abramovich have had no problem buying the best players and operating at a loss on the path to becoming a global franchise. The new owners of Manchester City have hinted they may try to buy Ronaldo, and the number they suggested could buy a few Premiership teams. Even Arsene Wenger has questioned the motives of some owners, wondering whether football clubs are the new billionaire toy. Like Wenger suggests, many of these owners may not be in it for the long haul. When these owners become bored with their new toy, who will pay the inflated transfer fee and wages of the players? Many clubs have already taken out loans against future television revenue and gate receipts. Without the bankroll of wealthy owners they will not be able to operate at huge losses. This could mean a future of triple digit ticket prices and administration.
The owners of QPR have taken a different path. When they announced their new ticket structure, QPR’s board said “we are totally committed to building a sound financial base for the future." Their actions have proved this, paying off the ABC loan and a number of other debts on the club’s books. Instead of spending big money in the transfer market, Chairman Briatore used his connections to sign young talents Daniel Parejo, Emmanuel Ledesma and Samuel Di Carmine on loan. He also signed Lee Cook from Fulham on loan, and added experience through the free transfer of former Italian international Damiano Tommasi. The familiar name, though maybe not on the continent, of Iain Dowie was brought in to coach. Together they have helped lead QPR to fourth in the Championship, and defeated high flyers Aston Villa 1-0 in the Carling Cup. With the owners doing their part, and the players performing well, it now seems that the fans are being asked to show their support.
Whether or not the fans will show support remains a question. QPR have only drawn more than 15,000 at Loftus Road once this season. Given the current level of demand, as well as the uncertainty of the economy, it is strange that the board would choose to raise prices now. Many worry that only the prawn sandwich brigade will be able to buy the best tickets, and that the atmosphere at the ground will suffer. While £50 is a lot, the fans might think about how far the club has come. From the brink of administration, the club is now debt free and the board seems to have a good plan in place for the future. QPR has a well connected chairman, a coach who has Premiership experience, and no massive wage bills that will weigh them down for years. QPR seems to be doing right by their fans, and now they are asking their fans to do right by them. While £50 may be a lot to watch Derby, it could be a steal to watch Manchester United in the Premiership next year.

A fighting draw

It was another wild weekend in the Premiership. There were some big wins, a chippy(semi-violent) tie, and West Ham decided to cover up their bankrupt sponsors with numbers(don't they know that they already have a number on the front of their kit(jersey)?).

Sunderland 2 - Middlesbrough 0: Sunderland got lucky in this one, and Keane will need his team to improve at home. Stewart Downing slammed a penalty over the bar, and it was obvious that Boro was missing Mido who picked up a knock(injury) in warmups. Michael Chopra came on as a sub and looked electric, scoring both goals. He's had some personal problems, but some times the pitch(field) can be a refuge for a player. He should be starting soon.

West Ham 3 - Newcastle 1: It is hard to imagine how Newcastle can turn this season around. They have some great players, but they just can't seem to make things work. Gianfranco Zola and Steve Clarke's influence was evident as they played a 4-3-3. They kept sending players forward, and Di Michele just cut Newcastle to pieces. There looks to be some exciting football(soccer) in East London.

Blackburn 1 - Fulham 0: This was as ugly as the score line looks. AJ had a couple chances, but Fulham couldn't produce much. Matt Derbyshire scored the winner at the end, and he should get some more chances in the Cup competitions and off the bench.

Liverpool 0 - Stoke 0: This game was so ugly fans should have been required to wear a paper bag to watch it. Steven Gerrard had an early goal disallowed for no reason. Keane and Torres continue to have problems. Stoke does deserve some credit for getting a point at Anfield.

Arsenal 3 - Bolton 1: At the start it looked like Bolton would win, or at least draw. Arsenal were intimidated by the physical play of Bolton, including a Kevin Davies challenge that bruised Gael Clichy's leg like a Tesco(A&P) peach. Eboue grabbed an offside goal, and Bendtner quickly added a second. It looked like Bolton might come back until Denilson put in the third. A big result for Arsenal as it takes them to top of the league.

Aston Villa 2 - WBA 1: The deadly triangle of Carew, Agbonlahor and Young were declared fit and played like it. Carew and Agbonlahor scored early goals to make this an uphill battle for West Brom. Morrison grabbed one back, and while they looked strong on the ball they couldn't find a second.

Chelsea 1 - Man U 1: A lot more intense than the score line suggests. Nearly the entire Man U team was yellow carded, and both Carvalho and Van Der Sar had to leave with injuries. Obi Mikel did a great job marking Berbatov, and Ronaldo struggled after he was introduced as a sub. Anelka missed a number of opportunities and there were some good saves before Kalou scored the equalizer.

Hull 2 - Everton 2: Cahill did score, but the bad Everton made an appearance. They went two goals down, but they climbed back in it. Saha had his first appearance coming off the bench, and Yakubu looked a handfull. They will have to figure out their back line if they want to start turning draws into wins.

Man City 6 - Portsmouth 0: Portsmouth's back line look dead and buried. They will need to make some serious changes if they want to have any shot of making it back into the UEFA Cup. City look incredible, and don't be surprised if they can put up half a dozen again this season.

Tottenham 0 - Wigan 0: Actually, this might have been the ugliest game of the week. If Juande Ramos wasn't Juande Ramos then he would be fired. It would be a shame if the banks foreclosed on his suits.

One Liners

• Inter to sign Maradona, could use some good handiwork
• Hull sign Stelios, had been keeping in shape by squeezing out olive oil with his bare hands
• Nigerian consortium look to buy Newcastle, plan to pay in barrels of oil
• Steven Taylor says he won't quit Newcastle, but shakes his head yes the entire interview
• Reading score phantom goal, makes Maradona's look legitimate

Weekend Preview

If you thought last weekend was interesting, this weekend will get your biscuits in a tizzy(nuts). Manchester United and Chelsea face off in what promises to be an incredible game at Stamford Bridge. Ronaldo(look at those shoes) has been pressuring Alex Ferguson(we don't have to use the Sir in America) to let him start. It's unlikely that he could go the full 90, but anybody who saw him against Villareal knows that they are a much better team every second he is on the pitch. Get a sitter, turn off your mobile(cell phone) and grab a pint(one and 1/3 of a beer) because this is a big one.

Middlesbrough at Sunderland: Sunderland need 3 from this game, and Boro do not usually perform well away from home. Chopra is available for Sunderland, and a partnership with Cisse is possible. Alves and Mido have worked well together so far, and this should be a tight game.
Sunderland 2-1

Newcastle at West Ham: Two teams in chaos, they could both field a starting XI of injured players. Zola will want a win to get off to a positive start in front of a home crowd, but with Ashton injured it will be hard. Newcastle might enjoy playing away, and they could grab a point.
Tie 2-2

Fulham at Blackburn: After a bright start, Blackburn have sank and David Dunn's injury will only make things worse. Fulham have looked positive, but backing them away from home is like backing a dog in water. This match could come down to Santa Cruz vs. Zamora.
Tie 1-1

Stoke at Liverpool: Liverpool keep leaving it late, but they shouldn't have any of those problems against Stoke. Stoke seem to be a one trick pony, but Delap's throw ins are a hell of a trick. The only two questions for Liverpool will be if they can keep a clean sheet, and how many?
Liverpool 3-0

Arsenal at Bolton: Arsenal always have trouble with this fixture, and they will be tired from a brusing match in Kiev. Megson has tried to make Bolton into more of a fluid side, but he may focus on long ball and physical tactics in this match. I would expect to see a few cards in this one.
Arsenal 2-0

Aston Villa at WBA: The battle of Birmingham, this could turn out to be a tough match. With Carew and Young injured, Villa will have to change their attack plan. West Brom have looked better with each week, and every point counts in the battle against relegation.
Tie 1-1

Everton at Hull: The first question is which Everton side will show up? With Cahill fit we should see the good one, though there are still questions about the back line and Anichebe's hurt. Hull have momentum, but they'll need a strong midfield performance and a tight back line.
Everton 2-1

Portsmouth at Man City: Both these teams have been inconsistent, and it will be interesting to see whether this game stays low and tight or becomes a high scoring affair. Jo found his form in midweek, and Defoe continues to be hot. Look for plenty of pace, and a few goals.
Man City 3-1

Wigan at Tottenham: If any team needs a win, it's Tottenham. If they weren't stuck in last place I'd wonder if they knew which way was up. Modric's injury won't help things, but should make for an open game. Wigan will be rested and ready, but this game is too big for Tottenham.
Tottenham 2-1

Man U at Chelsea: Chelsea's record at home is well known, and a win would open up a sizable gap. With Berbatov and Ronaldo not fully fit and Vidic suspended, Man U have a lot of questions. Fergie will try to slow the game down, but an extra day's rest will help Chelsea push the tempo.
Chelsea 2-1

One Liners

• Kroenke joins Arsenal's board, hairpiece comes with him
• Ronaldo still claiming Man City is after him, talks that they may sign Rivaldo as well
• Alan Smith out for 3 months with fracture, authorities looking in to working conditions at Newcastle
• Scolari plays down talks of Moscow revenge, Abramovich in background bends metal
• Melchiot claims Tottenham missing leadership, everyone on Tottenham looks around to see who is supposed to respond

Champions League Wednesday

Wednesday was a little less exciting than Tuesday, but it did feature the first appearance of Cristiano Ronaldo. Say what you will(and people will), but that boy was born to play football(soccer).

Man U 0- Villareal 0: A strange game from the start. Ronaldo, Berbatov, Vidic, Santi Cazorla and Senna were all missing at the start through injury or tactic. Man U dominated the majority of the game, but a back heel from Franco nearly stole the game for the Yellow Submarine. When these two sides play again, I would look for a different score line.

Bayern Munich 1 - Steaua Bucaresti 0: The Germans did well to win this game away from home. That being said, after seeing Bremen's performance yesterday, the Bundesliga does not seem to be performing particularly well in Europe. Lets see if they prove me wrong(I'm never wrong).

Lyon 2 - Fiorentina 2: Lyon have to be the biggest disappointment in Europe. They win Ligue 1 every year, but can't seem to go anywhere in Europe. They did well to come back and get a point, and in this group every point matters.

FC Porto 3 - Fenerbahce 1: Porto have a number of offensive weapons and they unleashed them in this game. Guiza scored for Fenerbahce, but Aragones will have trouble with this group. The Portuguese side could be a dark horse in the tournament and watch out for them.

Arsenal 1 - Dynamo Kiev 1: Arsenal was lucky to walk away with a point, and they will be challenged away from home by physical play. Walcott was the subject of a number of hard fouls, but supplied the cross that Gallas headed home for the point.

Real Madrid 2 - BATE Borisov 0: A rather disappointing for Real, but at least they kept a clean sheet and got the win. The Belarusian side are overmatched in this tournament, but their baptism wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Juventus 1 - Zenit St. Petersburg 0: Juve scored a big win in front of a small crowd. Del Piero was the hero in a typical Italian game. They will be looking to make a statement now that they are clean(for an Italian side) and have the squad to progress. This will be another group that should come down to the final day.

Celtic 0 - AaB 0: No that is not a collection of letters, but a Danish side. This was a poor result for Celtic at home, and with Man U and Villareal in their group they will need some more miracles if they want to make it out of the group stage.

UEFA CUP Update: Aston Villa won 3-1 over Lovetch, with a Gareth Barry penalty the winner. Man City beat Omonia Nicosia 2-1 thanks to a brace from Jo. Portsmouth beat Guimares 2-0 with a brace from Defoe that would have been a hat trick if not for a miss from the spot. Tottenham beat Wisla Krakow 2-1 with Bent and Bentley providing the goals.

One Liners

• Wenger says that Kiev tried to destroy Walcott, Wenger considers launching pre-emptive strike before next game
• Gago out for a month with injury, Real will just have to subsitute one of their 100 other players
• Wilkins named new assistant at Chelsea, bald head and big belly show his belief in fitness
• Fergie deciding whether to play Brown or Evans, wants Neville in the side so he can feel young

Champions League Tuesday

First day of Champions League action in the group stages did not disappoint. There were a couple of thrashings, some disappointments and some upsets.

Chelsea 4 - Bordeaux 0: This game wasn't even this close. Cech was more bothered by his neon orange kit(jersey) than any shots from the French side. Lampard is really looking in great form, and Chelsea proved why they are considered one of the favorites.

CFR Cluj-Napoca 2 - AS Roma 1: The major shock of the day as the Romanian champions won in Rome, where the final will be held. This is a big loss, and with this performance second place in the group is up for grabs. Is it possible that Cluj will make it to the knockout stages in their first Champions League(I don't think so)?

Inter Milan 2 - Panathinaikos 0: A much better performance from the Italian side, strong at the black and good counter attacking play. Mourinho knows this competition well, and an away win with a clean sheet shows his intent to challenge.

Werder Bremen 0 - Anorthosis Farmagusta 0: Disappointment for Werder who had to settle for a draw at home. The German side would have wanted to start strong against the Cypriot champions, but now they have gone five consecutive opening games without a win.

Shakhtar Donetsk 2 - FC Basel 1: The Ukrainian champions were too good for the Swiss side, and I wouldn't be surprised if they don't win a single match. Great result for Shakhtar who will want to try to progress to the knockout stages ahead of Sporting Lisbon.

Barcelona 3 - Sporting Lisbon 1: A strong but not entirely convincing from the home side winners. Barcelona have a lot of magic up top, but are still vulnerable on set pieces. They were awarded a cheap penalty that looked to put the game away, but Sporting look like the second best team in the group.

Atletico Madrid 3 - PSV Eindhoven 0: This group looks to be wide open, but behind their own young Argentinian superstar(there are half a dozen) Aguerro, Madrid crushed the home side. PSV have a recent history of success in the Champions League, but will need to regroup quickly if they even want the parachute place into the UEFA Cup.

Liverpool 2 - Marseille 1: A big away win for the Scousers against a team they always seem to be playing. Gerrard scored an incredible curler and a penalty to give him a brace. It's been a big week for Liverpool, and they might finally have the depth to challenge on multiple fronts.

One Liners

• Ashley in Dubai looking for £481 million for club, now that's a joke
• Gutierrez out for a while for Newcastle, that should lower the price a few quid
• Fergie angered by overturned red card for Terry, bitches and moans in Scottish accent
• Lo Monaco in trouble for saying Mourinho should have "his teeth smashed in", but claims that it in no way suggested violence
• Carrick out for 6 weeks with broken foot, Fergie charges that if it was a Chelsea player the foot would only be broken for 4 weeks
  

Tower of Babel

While many had their eyes glued on the clash of the cash, Rafa Benitez secured his first victory against Manchester United in the Prem. The game was not pretty, and Liverpool's two goals were all kinds of lucky, but sometimes it's better to be lucky than good.

Liverpool 2 - Man U 1: Man U looked sloppy at the back and it cost them. Poor communication between Van der Sar and Brown(reminding us of the days when he couldn't even get a start) gifted Liverpool their first, and then Ryan Babel scuffed in the second. Neither Gerrard or Torres started, with Gerrard only seeing limited action. Tevez continues to impress, and linked up well with Berbatov. With Ronaldo close to match fit, this should be their last sloppy performance.

Chelsea 3 - Man City 1: Robinho got the first goal(with an assist from Mikel's head), but Carvalho used his own head to equalize. Ireland and SWP had some chances, but Chelsea's slick passing won the day when Lampard and Anelka converted theirs.

Arsenal 4 - Blackburn 0: Paul Ince's team looked pathetic at home, as Emmanuel Adebayor found his shooting boots and scored a hat trick. Walcott carved up the Blackburn defense, and Arsenal ran rampant up the wings. They still have some problems at the back, but as long as they pin teams back they won't have to worry.

Fulham 2 - Bolton 1: Not as ugly a game as it could have been, and Zamora looks comfortable up front. Hodgson has Fulham playing like a middle of the table side. It's early, but Bolton look like a team who will be in the relegation battle.

Hull 2 - Newcastle 1: This really was a sorry game for any Newcastle fan to watch. The crowd was more interested in booing the management than supporting the team, and the team didn't seem to intersted in being there as well. Marlon King showed the form that had so many teams queing(lining) up to buy him and grabbed a brace. Guthrie's foul at the end was atrocious, and with Ashley deciding to sell the team things will not calm down for a while.

Portsmouth 2 - Middlesbrough 1: Jermaine Defoe looks to be paying dividends, though Pompey were lucky to come away with the victory. Alves and Mido still look a devastating pair up front for Boro, but this game was decided at the back and Portsmouth were a little tighter.

West Brom 3 - West Ham 2: A big win for West Brom, and things are not looking good in East London. The Baggies have a pretty good team and look like they might be able to stay up this season. The Hammers definitely have the talent, but if it keeps going off injured like Ashton then they'll have to worry about their own relegation.

Wigan 1 - Sunderland 1: Wigan actually scored two great goals in the one, except Titus Bramble's went into his own net. Sunderland looked a bit disappointing, while Amr Zaki really does seem to be one of the league's best. His ability to find space in the box and then make the most of that space has given him four goals in four games.

Everton 3 - Stoke 2: Everton really have to tighten up their back line if they want to be at the top of the table. Fellaini did not have the best of games, while Yobo and Jagielka made a number of mistakes. It was obvious how important Cahill is to the team, as he puts other teams on the back foot. Stoke's game plan is pretty obvious, put the ball in the box and just try to bang it home.

Aston Villa 2 - Tottenham 1: Things continue to go poorly for Tottenham, as a howler by Gomes put this game out of reach. Villa really look impressive this season, and now that they have added some depth they will be a challenge to the Big 4.

One Liners

• Ashley to sell team, puts more effort into goodbye letter than he did looking over the club's books
• Fagan's leg broken by Guthrie kick, expect major suspension for Guthrie
• DIC say they are not interested in buying Liverpool or Newcastle, not all of North England will be awash in oil money
• Clarke joins West Ham, knowing the Hammers he'll turn out to be injured and miss the rest of the season
• Sepp Blatter disappointed by South Africa, wags his finger

Weekend Preview

Do you smell that? That's the smell of domestic football(soccer) with the exhausted relief that it's Friday. Normally when two of the Big Four lineup against each other it's automatically the game of the week. But there isn't anything normal about the Prem anymore, and most people will have their eyes on Manchester as Chelsea visits the City of Manchester Stadium. I've heard conflicting reports about whether or not Robinho will feature, but even if he's on the bench I'm sure there will be a dedicated Robinho cam.

Chelsea at Man City: I wouldn't gamble my neighbor's dog on this one(and that animal sure can yap). Even if Robinho doesn't play, this "clash of the cash" is huge for both teams. Man City is trying to prove that they are on the top tier, and Chelsea needs to prove themselves after a poor performance with Tottenham. With Essien injured and assistant coach Steve Clarke leaving, they are going through their own spot of turmoil. Big teams win big games. Chelsea 2-1.

Man U at Liverpool: Steven Gerrard and Torres have been declared fit, but I think this may be a mind game. Rafa has yet to score a goal against Fergie(and neither has his team), but if he's serious about winning the Prem he will need at least a tie. Manchester will want to prove that they are the best team in Manchester, and Berbatov should get a chance to prove his worth. Man U 1-0.

Arsenal at Blackburn: Wenger is already playing down 'Trio' Walcott, and it's very likely he won't start. Fabregas should be close to full fitness, with questions about Nasri and Silvestre. Santa Cruz is always a threat, but the back line of Blackburn looks shaky. Arsenal 3-1.

Bolton at Fulham: Both teams are currently experiencing the opposite of momentum. This could be the most boring game of the weekend, or a high scoring affair. If Andy Johnson plays it could be the latter, because nobody can sniff out a pen like AJ. Fulham 2-1.

Hull at Newcastle: Having a caretaker manager is never a good sign, and to call Newcastle a club in turmoil would be an insult to turmoil. That being said, it would be rather insulting to let Hull come in and beat them. Newcastle 2-0.

Middlesbrough at Portsmouth: Portsmouth finally looked like the team of old against Everton, and Fratton Park is usually a fortress. Middlesbrough has a number of injuries and do not look convincing at home. Portsmouth 3-1.

West Ham at West Brom: The battle of the West. Zuiverloorn's injury will hurt West Brom, and it will be interesting to see what effect the managerial change has on West Ham. You only have one chance to make a first impression and the Hammers players will want to look good for Zola. West Ham 2-0.

Sunderland at Wigan: This could be a great game. Sunderland have looked good all season, tight at the back, and just lacked the finishing power. Wigan have looked very strong going forward, and now we know why Zaki is highest rated striker in the world. Wigan 2-0.

Everton at Stoke: This is a must win game for Everton, but Stoke knows they need points at home to stay up. Everton will have a lot of players returning from international duty, and two of their new signings are too injured to play. It will be interesting to see what kind of shape Moyes can get them into before the match on Sunday. Anything less than three points will be considered a loss. Everton 3-1.

One Liners

• Keane calls Jack Warner a clown, Warner takes the high road and says anybody who would walk out on their team before the World Cup has no class
• Keegan and Ashley hold talks, doesn't that sound like a pop duo?
• West Ham's kit(jersey) sponsors go bankrupt, everything's coming up Milhouse
• Chelsea refuse to accept Clarke's resignation, hire man in a trenchcoat with cigar and tommy gun to follow him around and make him assistant coach

USA wins 3-0(whoever does their laundry must be thrilled)

That hilarious joke was a reference to the third successive clean sheet that Team USA kept in their 3-0 defeat of Trinidad & Tobago. The coach's son got them off to a good start with a clever touch from a free kick that found the corner of the net. A smooth give and go from Dempsey to Beasley and then back to Dempsey got their second, and Brian Ching headed the third into an empty net. T&T were playing without Dwight Yorke who was recalled to Sunderland(apparently Roy Keane doesn't have to follow international rules) and their defensive marking was lackluster. They came out stronger in the second half, and it was only Cherundolo's presence at the post that kept their clean sheet. The defense looked very strong, and Bradley may have found his back line in Pearce, Bocanegra, Onyewu and Cherundolo. It was Onyewu's challenge on the keeper that gave Ching the free header for the third goal. I would like to see Wynne and Orozco get a run out, as well as Spector when he's fit, but the defense is looking tight. Offensively this was their best game yet, and Dempsey is on fire. With Ching playing the target man and knocking down balls, Dempsey is able to roam free behind him and run onto balls. It will be interesting to see if this strategy works outside CONCACAF, if Ching could win balls against taller European competition, but it's working now. Donovan looked good in the center of the pitch, delivering good free kicks and link up play. Beasley was phenomenal and has to be considered an automatic selection. The one question was Bradley and Kljestan. Both are great on the ball, good passers and work well together. The problem is that neither of them is a ball winner, and the rest of last night's team was much better going forward than tracking back. Team USA has a problem with taking their foot off the gas, and T&T threatened in the second half and looked comfortable in possession. That is the one position Bradley is trying to fill with Mastroeni, Edu and now Kljestan all trying to fit the role. He will have time to find that player, as Team USA's win means they are into the hexagonal(doesn't that sound like an MTV competition).

One Liners

• Wenger says Walcott's performance is a one-off, way to kill the party Frenchie
• Jacobsen injures shoulder on international duty, just what Everton needs
• Gutierrez injures shoulder on international duty, just what Newcastle needs
• Brazil stumble to draw against Bolivia at home and get booed by their fans, sound like any other countries you know?
• Cech says Chelsea wants to show Robinho that "he made a decision that is not perfect for him really", that's what passes for trash talk in the Czech Republic

V(w)indication

Fabio Capello's faith in Theo Walcott was vindicated in a 4-1 victory in Zagreb that saw Walcott net a hat trick. This is a huge victory for England and couldn't have come at a better time. After the 2-0 snoozer against Andorra many fans and pundits were second guessing Capello and calling for a change in players and tactics. That performance, combined with Croatia's double over England in Euro Cup qualifying, had many assuming a loss and even Jermaine Defoe only hoped for a point. Croatia had never lost at home, but Capello suggested that given England's current support an away match would suit them. He was right. Capello introduced an offensive lineup, and though they struggled to find their way early they made Croatia pay for their mistakes. Walcott pounced on a deflected clearance and bulged the ol' onion bag(that one's for you Tommy Smyth) in the 26th minute. They couldn't add onto their lead until the second half, when Robert Kovac was sent off for an elbow that took Joe Cole out of the game. Jenas fit in perfectly and some slick passing set up Walcott for his second, which he finished with confidence. and they made quick work of the Croatians. Rooney then fired a cross into the back of the net to end his own international drought. They lost the clean sheet to a goal from Mario Mandzukic, but Walcott's third erased any disappointment. Many will point to Kovac's red card as the reason for the victory, but Capello won't care. With only the group winner guaranteed a spot in the World Cup, an away win against their toughest rivals sees them sitting pretty early. Just as important this will get the fans and media off their back and give them some much needed momentum. Heskey, Walcott and Rooney all worked well together and Heskey may have earned a permanent place in the squad. Walcott's performance sees him a likely fixture on the right for years to come, and Beckham was only brought in at the end to so the crowd could cheer the young hat trick hero.

Walcott was not the only player with a hat trick, as Miroslav Klose grabbed one against Finland. They needed all three to walk away with a point in a 3-3 draw. Denmark completed the big upset of the day by winning in Portugal 3-2 thanks to two very late goals. Greece is off to a perfect start after a 2-0 win over Latvia. Gareth Bale missed a penalty as Wales fell to Russia 2-1. Ukraine is even with England at 6 points after their 3-1 win over Kazakhstan that saw Shevchenko net one. France's 2-1 defeat of Serbia at home might see Domenech keep his job(please no, please no). Italy beat Georgia 2-0 behind a brace from De Rossi. The Netherlands beat Macedonia 2-1 in an unconvincing game. The two big wins of the day go to Spain and Bosnia-Herzegovina. The Spanish were helped by two David Villa goals to beat Armenia(haven't they suffered enough) 4-0. Meanwhile Bosnia put 7 past Estonia without conceding a goal. Also Luxembourg beat Switzerland 2-1 in a battle of the tax havens.

One Liners

• Zola accept West Ham job, said to be looking to bring Steve Clarke over from Chelsea as well as Ballack, Lampard, Drogba, Cole, Cole and Terry if they're interested
• Adebayor misses flight for Togo game after hearing that plane would crash if the team boarded, can you blame him?
• Robbie Fowler sign pay as you play deal with Blackburn, is Alan Shearer next?
• Adriano ready to make comeback with Inter, Mourinho sends his picture to all the gelato stores asking them not to serve him
• Cristiano Ronaldo is thinking about getting a haircut, Madrid interested in buying his clippings

Case of the Blues

Bad news for Chelski fans, Michael Essien tore his ACL on international duty with Ghana and he will probably miss the rest of the season. Essien has been a warhorse for Chelsea ever since he came over from Lyon. Last season he filled in for Belletti at right back, covered for Makelele as a defensive midfielder, and I think he played keeper for a few games(joke). I've always thought he was best when going forward, and he earned the nickname "Bison" for his ability to stampede over defenders. However with Lampard, Ballack and now Deco, he has been made into a defensive player and is one of the best in the world. With Makelele gone and the transfer window closed, they will rely upon John Obi Mikel as their defensive midfielder until January at least. Scolari promised a much more offensive team, but without their midfield cover they will have to be careful not to stretch themselves too much. Not a good day for Chelsea.



News reports are suggesting that former Chelsea player Gianfranco Zola has been offered the West Ham job. Donadoni is said to have removed his name from consideration(probably because he realized he wasn't going to get it). Zola has said he will think it over and make his decision tomorrow. It is a sign of where West Ham is, that the co-manager of an U-21 team still has to think before accepting the job. Most likely this is just contract stuff(Zola might be making them sweat it out for a few more quid), but if he rejected the offer there would be some serious (ostrich) egg on the Hammers' face. There are also reports linking Gus Poyet, Ramos' assistant at Tottenham, to the Newcastle job. Poyet has said no, but he does have a history with Dennis Wise. While it would be great to move up, Poyet might feel that at least the turmoil in North London comes with designer clothing stores(I mean check out that suit, snazzy).

One Liners

• Capello says team would rather play away, England fans boo his comment
• Domenech says his critics would send him to the guillotine if this were another era, I say bring back that era
• Rio fit for Croatia, but prepared to say he wasn't 100% if England lose
• Fabregas dismisses City rumors, Ronaldo(fat one) says a move there is possible

Capitalism 1 - Communism 0

It wasn't pretty, but the US men's soccer(football) team went to Cuba and won 1-0 on a Dempsey goal. This comes on the heels of their 1-0 defeat of Guatemala. The scorelines may not impress, but after grabbing the lead in each game their focus shifted to defense. The conditions in Cuba made the Guatemala stadium seem 5 star. Coach Bradley commented on how long the grass was, but with a shortage of gasoline the two man crew and lawn mower circa 1972 did pretty well. The stadium had been hit by a hurricane, and it poured on the fans as well as the players. The power went out in the 87th minute, and Cuba nearly equalized in a state of advanced darkness. The US defense impressed, especially Onyewu(yes I offered praise for Onyewu though I'll qualify it by saying the Cubans need some more rice and beans to compete with his frame), and Howard was only forced to make one real save on a set piece at the end of the game. Whether Bradley told them to play conservative and stay home, the wing backs did not come forward at all. Edu looked good attacking, but in his own half he seemed lost at times and it will be interesting to see where his future lies with the team. Beasley had a great game, but Bradley had trouble imposing himself on the game and Donovan was non-existent. Ching and Dempsey combined well for the goal. I would still like to see Adu, Altidore and Wynn get some playing time, but Bradley may be waiting for a more low pressure situation.



The rest of the world was busy as well, including those underachieving English. It took two goals by second half sub Joe Cole to beat Andorra, after being booed at half time. Capello was upset with Cole and Rooney's performance, saying they didn't listen to his technical instructions. In Italy this may be considered a result, but to the English press and fans anything less than a dozen against Andorra is greeted with gloom and doom. Downing and Walcott were also lackluster, and Gerrard and Ferdinand's absence was apparent. The big shock was France's 3-1 defeat to Austria. Domenech only has a three game contract, and his next two games are home to Serbia and away to Romania. If he does not win both those games, look for him to be sacked(fired). Italy pulled out a late 2-1 win over Cyprus in Lippi's return. Germany and Portugal made shooting practice of Liechtenstein and Malta, 6-0 and 4-0 respectively. Brazil also got back on track with a Luis Fabiano brace and a Robinho rocket to beat Chile 3-1 in a game that had two players seeing red.

One Liners

• Gerrard to miss Man U match, Rafa says he would have been rotated out anyway
• Croatia call courting of Bilic a dirty trick, overestimate the intelligence of Newcastle and West Ham boardrooms
• West Ham job said to be between Zola and Donadoni, so cheer up Hammers fans you'll be getting a former Blue or the worst Italy coach in decades
• Chris Hughton named acting manager of Newcastle, told that if he loses to Hull he will be guillotined
• Sale of City to ADUD not yet complete, what do you bite after you're out of fingernails?

Time to update your CV

Could this be the next coach of West Ham? Slaven Bilic may be denying it, but Croatia's performance at Eurocup, his ability to make his players work as a team, and his discount clothing style would make him a great fit for East London. England fans would be happy, as they again are in the same group as Croatia, but this time only the winner is guaranteed a place in the World Cup. Except for an unlucky break against Turkey(I think there has to be a term beyond lucky to define what happened to the Turks), they would have had a semi-final date with a German team they had already beaten. This was all without Eduardo, the top scorer in qualifiers, and they will be a team to watch. Back to Bilic, he was a West Ham defender and has been pegged at a move to club football(soccer), and West Ham seems like a good place to start.

A number of names have already been mentioned. West Ham have an Italian director, and many feel he may reach out to one of his fellow countrymen. Roberto Mancini has already been managed, but it would be a step down for a man who managed Inter to three straight titles(or at least was the best team that wasn't cheating). His agent says he would love to manage in the Prem, but he may want a team with a bit more history or money. Donadoni has also been mentioned, along with former Hammer Paolo Di Canio, as well as Gianfranco Zola. Gerard Houllier and Sam Allardyce have also been mentioned, though they usually are when any job comes up. Harry Redknapp has made it clear that he will not go to any club that doesn't allow him to choose his squad, and Alan Shearer has said the same regarding Newcastle. A great question is which team would you rather manage right now. Both are owned by billionaires. Both have meddling boardrooms. Both have a long history. But Newcastle is a one team town, and the man who brings home silverware will have pies and pints in any pub for life.

One Liners

• England U-21 squad wins behind Aston Villa players, maybe they should replace the senior squad
• Rio out for Andorra game, Titus Bramble waiting by the phone
• Barton gets 12 game suspension, 6 will be served now and the other 6 when he inevitably punches/kicks/spits/stabs/puts out a cigar in someone's eye
• Mutu appealing fine, says do you know how much cocaine I could buy with that money?
• Player who tried to blackmail another player with sextape is jailed, rumor is that it was a keeper and he kept his gloves on the entire time

King Kev Abdicates

It's official, Kevin Keegan has left Newcastle United. The official story is that he quit(remember he threatened to quit three times in his last stint at Newcastle) the club. It seems pretty clear now that Keegan probably quit the club earlier in the week due to his problems with the boardroom. When word leaked and the fan backlash began Mike Ashley probably tried to get him back Either he wasn't willing to give King Kev more power in transfer policy, Keegan was just so frustrated that there was no getting him back, but today they finally admitted he wasn't coming back to the club. There is a question if(and how much) he owes the club for leaving before his contract expires. Most owners would probably let it go(unless he pulls an Ian Dowie), but who knows what Mike Ashley will do.

One Liners

• Redknapp says Czech and Croatian players couldn't make England's starting XI, it's true because they would probably help them win and Capello is against that
• Atletico Madrid happy none of their superstars left this season, Man City owners read article and immediately launch bid to buy entire team
• Pearce worried that foreign players are hurting England's national team, has to hold his lucky donkey just to get to sleep at night
• Sergio Ramos is excited to hear that Madrid is offering him a contract for life, Man City owners immediately offer him contract for life and after-life
• Giggs and Tevez warn of Man City, Man City owners immediately offer them PR contracts

Curbs loses the (potato)sack race

For those of you who had bet on Alan Curbishley to win the sack race, I hope you held onto your betting slip, as he decided to walk off the plank before he was pushed. I'm sure Ladbrokes will have some controversy on their hands now that Newcastle have denied sacking(firing) Kevin Keegan. Mike Ashley might have done that just to avoid having his flat(place of living) burned down by villagers. This isn't to suggest he looks like Frankenstein, and I'm always impressed that he shows up to games wearing a Newcastle kit(jersey), though I'm sure that's because they're always on sale. But the timing of these announcements is quite telling, as both managers have had problems with upper management during the boardroom.

Many remember Alan Curbishley from his time at Charlton where he would lead them to the top of the table in August, and slowly descend for the rest of the year. He left the club amicably in 2006, and that December took over at West Ham. West Ham had gotten off to a horrid start after the purchase(illegal) of Mascherano and Tevez from MSI, who were expected to buy the club. However, an Icelandic group led by a billionaire and biscuit salesman bought the team(you can't make this stuff up). Their transfer of the duo was deemed to have broken the rules, and the club was fined a world record £5.5 million. However key goals from Tevez kept them in the Prem, while Charlton was relegated. The difficult wasn't over, as they battled lawsuits from Sheffield United(who had been relegated), that West Ham should have been docked points. There was also the question of Mascherano and Tevez, who were eventually sold to Liverpool and Man U respectively(in two deals that really exposed how fraudelent West Ham's signing of them was in the beginning). The Icelanders also put their money where they eat their biscuits: Upson, Neill, Boa Morte, Ljungberg, Parker, Bellamy and Dyer all joined in 2007. Collectively they spent more time on the bench then they did in the lineup. It's hard to determine how much influence Curbs had in signing them. The biscuit salesman who had been chairman sold his stake to his countryman, which hints at his being the one to blame. But the fans have been all over Curbs, and were disappointed by last year's 10th place finish, though they were safe from relegation. There was little spending this off-season, and the biggest deals were the selling of Anton Ferdinand and George McCarthy to Sunderland. This was done against his wishes, and today he decided that the destiny of the club was no longer in his hands. I think Curbs is a good manager and he has a track record of keeping teams in the Prem. These days that's not enough.

It's pretty clear to see why the female half of Newcastle loves Kevin Keegan. He helped lead the team back into the top flight while playing at Newcastle, and then as coach he saved them from relegation and promoted them to the Prem where he nearly led them to a title. He coached England, and came within a Robbie Fowler pk miss of leading Man City to the UEFA Cup. When he was appointed coach of Newcastle last year many thought he could lead the team to glory, but what has ensued has been confusion. Much like Curbs, Keegan has had to contend with injuries. His strike force of Owen, Ameobi, Viduka and Martins have all missed a number of games. Duff has been out of the squad, Barton has been in jail, and a number of their big name signings have been failures. They brought in two Argentinians, and Xisco, but James Milner was lost to Villa. The real issue has been the chaos at the top of the club. Owner Mike Ashley seems very involved, and they have three men with Director in their title, including the insufferable Dennis Wise. Keegan has not been happy with their transfer policy, and with Owen refusing a new contract nobody is sure which direction the club is going. It seems that these are tough times for English managers. The top clubs are now only importing foreign players, but foreign managers as well. Nobody seems content to finish in the middle of the table, everybody has ambitions for the title, Europe, world domination. It seems like maybe this is a good time to sit and reflect, that we can't all be winners, and sometimes avoiding relegation is good enough.

One Liners

• Flamini says he has not quit Les Bleus, just waiting for Domenech to get fired and then he'll join the squad
• Redknapp denies trying to sign Barton, like any sane person would
• Ronaldo says he has spoken with City, no the other Ronaldo, the transvestite loving Brazilian one, apparently he thought they were offering £135 million for him
• Lamps looks to be fit, Defoe looks to make a name for himself
• Football(soccer) writers suffering finger pains from all the writing, relieved transfer window has closed

Where do I begin(billionaires first)?

Yesterday was Labor Day in America, but the real work was going on in England. The buying and selling was reminiscent of Wall Street, and while a number of big names moved, the biggest shock was the sale of Manchester City. Dr. Sulaiman Al-Fahid is the head of the Abu Dhabi United Group(ADUG), who have either purchased or are close to purchasing(depends who you believe) Man City. This means that Thaksin Shinawatra now has enough money to last him the rest of his life in England, but it also meant that Chelsea are no longer the richest club in England. And City put that wealth to use by bidding on David Villa, Mario Gomez, Dimitar Berbatov and Robinho. Their bid for Berbatov was accepted, but the player demurred. Robinho did not, and the Brazilian will be playing in the Premiership for City and not Chelsea. Apparently £32.5 million was too much for Abramovich, who mustn't be able to remember the last time someone outbid him. Watching the news unfold yesterday was like some sort of bizarre fantasy league. Every big name was bandied about, and the sums of money attached would have bought you a team just a few years ago. Already Al-Fahid has said that he is preparing a £135 million bid for Ronaldo. The blue half of Manchester is praising capitalism and filling their cars to the brim with petrol(gas).

There is another team in Manchester(that made me laugh) and Man U made their long awaited move for Dimitar Berbatov. The Bulgarian cost £30.75 million, and also included a loan move for Frazier Campbell to Tottenham. Tottenham took some of that money and bought Vedran Corluka from Man City. City took that money and used it to light a cigar. Liverpool bought Riera, sold Finnan and loaned Voronin. West Ham continued their policy of selling defenders to Sunderland and sent McCartney to join Ferdinand. David Moyes spent £15 million on a midfielder named Marouane Fellaini in a move that screams panic buy, and also secured Saha. Newcastle purchased Xisco, who comes in second place for the coolest transfer name to Danny Higginbotham, who went from Sunderland to Stoke. West Ham also bought two players after the transfer deadline, which really makes me wonder what's the point of a transfer deadline. Outside of England Quaresma went to Inter, Diego Milito went to Genoa and no teams were bought by Middle East billionaires.

So right now you're saying that's it for the day, there can't be any more news(you're so foolish). However now there are reports coming from Newcastle(yes my mobile(phone) has been ringing off the hook with calls from Northeast England) that Kevin Keegan has been sacked(fired) or quit. Newcastle are denying any sacking(firing), but Newcastle don't know how to do much but flounder mid-table. King Kev(though it's weird because they already have a royal family in England) as he is affectionately known in Newcastle, was hoping to lead the team to the top of the table. They have a billionaire owner, Michael Owen and a huge fanbase. However, they also have 25 thousand(hyperbole) people in the boardroom deciding who to buy and sell and none of them seem to keep Kevin Keegan informed. Their season started off promisingly with a draw at Man U, but this weekend's game with Arsenal was quite ugly. This would also mean that Curbishley loses(should we call the guy who keeps his job the loser) the sack rack to Keegan, though I'm sure Alan will be on the dole(that thing J.K. Rowling was on before she wrote Harry Potter) shortly.

One Liners

• Abramovich asks Putin to invade Abu Dhabi in bid to retain title of wealthiest owner, Putin thinking about it
• Tim Cahill back in training, countdown until his next injury begins
• Mourinho drops Crespo from Champions League, Crespo calls him a dirty name but Mourinho doesn't speak Spanish
• Tottenham chairman Levy calls for transfer window review, isn't this an example of the team that bought and sold the most players calling the kettle black
• Arshavin may move in January, however that is way too long of a saga for this blog to cover and he is officially dead to me